Archive for the ‘Wedding Destinations’ Category

Bridezillas are NOT Beautiful

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

I am addressing the real problem of bridezillas. For anyone not aware of this phenomena, I will define the term. A “bridezilla,” is a bride, whose behavior is abusive, angry, hysterical, overwrought, offensive, paranoid and delusional, or even violent, in time of planning or during her wedding. In my experience, as a Maui wedding planner, I have noticed that this unfortunate condition is becoming more common. I have heard speculation that the popularity of TV shows, such as the “Bridezillas” reality shows, are actually normalizing and encouraging the prevalence of bridezilla behavior.

So, engaged ladies, I give you some reasons, here, to not allow yourselves to indulge in bridezilla-ness.

Bridezillas…

1) Hinder the success of their own wedding. Their rude, impulsive, aggressive behaviors alienate and confuse wedding planners, dress designers, caterers, site providers, florists, etc. While professionals will try to do their best, anyway, hysterical harassment provokes attacks of post traumatic stress disorder. Do you want your seamstress to be shaking and crying while she snips and pins your wedding dress? Do you want your catering staff to hide in the bathroom when they see you coming?

2) Are ugly. Unfortunately, anger and fear cause sleepless nights, compulsive eating and other conditions, which result in black circles under eyes, puffy skin, blemishes, weight problems, bloating and other unattractive symptoms. Is it worth it? Bridezillas are not attractive.

3) Alienate their own family and friends. You might think they will forgive you and just have to put up with you, but that is not always true. Bridezillas are not cute. They tend to resemble the Seawitch in the “The Little Mermaid” animated movie.

4) Worst of all – Bridezillas turn off grooms. I have seen prolonged, intense bridezilla behavior lead to the groom calling the whole thing off.

So, brides, it’s worth the effort to be nice.

THE END

Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT has a degree in communications from the University of Hawaii and a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Phoenix. She is a licensed, ordained minister and counselor. She owns, operates and is the head wedding planner for Merry Maui Weddings – on the web at: http://www.merrymauiweddings.com.  She is a published writer, a happily married wife, mother of three children, grandmother of five grandchildren and resides in Maui, Hawaii.

If you desire to have your wedding related question answered by Rev. Lee, please click here or mail it to: Merry Maui Weddings, P.O. Box 880080, Pukalani, HI 96788.

©2009 Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT

How to Have a Successful Relationship with Your Wedding Planner

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Of course, you want to have a good working relationship with your wedding planner/planners, because the planning process will be more enjoyable and you will receive the maximum benefit of their planning resources. Deciding it WILL BE a good client/professional relationship is the first step. (Forget about all those dysfunctional scenarios depicted by “reality” TV.)

The second step can be divided into three goals: Compatibility, Communication and Commitment.

1) Compatibility – Brainstorm with your fiance to select the most important criteria for choosing your wedding planner. Keep these in mind, while perusing websites, referrals and brochures. For example, do you prefer to work with a professional in a concise, abbreviated style, or is your favored communication style warm, friendly and personal? Do you prefer phone, in person, or email communications? Are you looking for high end, top-of-the-line services, or do you need to stay within a small budget? Of course, you will want to look for wedding planner teams that are reputable with good credentials, i.e. Better Business Bureau, or local planners professional organizations.

2) Communication – once you haved narrowed down your list of planners, communicate clearly and politely what is important to you. The planner should be comfortable with your priorities and be able to communicate clearly their mission statement and policies. Listen to what they say. Read their terms/policies and conditions. Don’t try to bully or wheedle them to change their policies. If you don’t feel comfortable, continue your search, but make sure your requirements are reasonable and realistic.

If you have spoken to three or four reputable companies, and don’t like any of them, you may want to re-evaluate your criteria. Is it reasonable? Don’t take too long completing this search. It will tire you out and waste your time and the planners’.

3) Commitment – Once you have found a good match, seal the deal. Reserve your date and the planner’s services. Cooperate with their contractual requirements. They protect you, too. No planner can do a good job until you give commitment and cooperation. And keep up with the clear, non emotional, respectful communication. Any good planner wants you to have a wonderful wedding experience just as much as you.

Order services well in advance – Be prepared to pay for them. Service providers need to be respected and treated with politeness and consideration. Don’t try to manipulate them to lower their prices. Their profit margins are usually only enough to keep them in business. If you can’t afford something or aren’t 100% certain you want it, don’t order it. Your wedding planners and service providers are not charitable non-profit organizations who can afford to provide you with what you want. They are struggling to keep afloat in a difficult economy, just like you are. So, if you can’t afford it, just do without it. Love and joy are what makes a beautiful wedding.

And you may have noticed, the three steps I have described, Compatibility, Communication and Commitment are also essential for enjoying a happy marriage. And, make sure to season it all with kindness and consideration.

THE END

Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee is President & CEO of Merry Maui Weddings & Vacations, at (888)588-0400 toll-free. For more helpful info and advice on Maui weddings, visit her informative and entertaining website at http://www.merrymauiweddings.com She is an expert in Hawaii destination weddings and vacations and is wedding planner, hula dancer, singer, writer and poet. She has recently released her new teen novel, “Roswell’s Journal,” now available at http://www.roswellsjournal.com

What NOT to Wear to your Maui Beach Wedding

Monday, July 20th, 2009

img_8511_bwOkay, this is the question, ladies: Do you want to wear your wedding dress or do you want it to wear you (out)?

Last week, I saw a clear example of a dress wearing a bride. Tina and Tony (not their real names) planned a Maui beach wedding with a few family members and friends. Overall, it was a beautiful wedding, but there were a few problems:

1) Tina was late to her wedding.

2) She had difficulty posing for the spontaneous, playful beach pictures.

3) She was hot and uncomfortable.

4) She was very late to her reception.

The above problems were all caused by “The Dress,” which was a modified version of what Princess Diana wore to her ill-fated wedding. Diana’s dress worked because her wedding was in a huge church and she had a limo and a zillion attendants.

Tina’s “Dress” did not work, because she had a beach wedding, no limo, and only one overworked attendant. Tina was late because The Dress was hard to get on and then, worse, did not fit in the compact car planned to take her to her wedding. She had to be crammed in with the seat all the way back and the dress stuffed up to the ceiling of the car. The groom informed us that the process of stuffing the bride and her dress into the car took one half hour and three persons. Thus, Tina was late, forcing her guests and wedding staff to wait, uncomfortably, in the bright Maui sun.

The Dress was disastrous in the sand. Her bridesmaid and groom tried to manage the “runaway train,” but it was difficult to do. Sea creatures, shells, seaweed and a small surfboard all ended up netted in that train (small exaggeration – there was only a small piece of surfboard).

Then, there was the exhausting, undignified struggle to get her and The Dress back in the car, to the restaurant, and then back out. Thus, she missed much of her reception. She enjoyed her wedding and reception, but it probably would have been better without the “Tyranny of The Dress.”

Subsequent articles will ad”dress” other dresses, equally inappropriate for their bride and/or event.

THE END

Rev.  Ayesha Sandra Lee is writer, hula dancer, Maui wedding destination consultant, wedding planner, wedding minister, and owner of Merry Maui Weddings (http://www.merrymauiweddings.com). Find more useful info about Hawaii weddings and feature-packed, complete beach photo weddings starting at only $495 + tax, with no hidden, future or extra charges. Call (888)588-0400 toll-free for a free, personal phone consultation.