Archive for the ‘Wedding Ceremony’ Category

Bridezillas are NOT Beautiful

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

I am addressing the real problem of bridezillas. For anyone not aware of this phenomena, I will define the term. A “bridezilla,” is a bride, whose behavior is abusive, angry, hysterical, overwrought, offensive, paranoid and delusional, or even violent, in time of planning or during her wedding. In my experience, as a Maui wedding planner, I have noticed that this unfortunate condition is becoming more common. I have heard speculation that the popularity of TV shows, such as the “Bridezillas” reality shows, are actually normalizing and encouraging the prevalence of bridezilla behavior.

So, engaged ladies, I give you some reasons, here, to not allow yourselves to indulge in bridezilla-ness.

Bridezillas…

1) Hinder the success of their own wedding. Their rude, impulsive, aggressive behaviors alienate and confuse wedding planners, dress designers, caterers, site providers, florists, etc. While professionals will try to do their best, anyway, hysterical harassment provokes attacks of post traumatic stress disorder. Do you want your seamstress to be shaking and crying while she snips and pins your wedding dress? Do you want your catering staff to hide in the bathroom when they see you coming?

2) Are ugly. Unfortunately, anger and fear cause sleepless nights, compulsive eating and other conditions, which result in black circles under eyes, puffy skin, blemishes, weight problems, bloating and other unattractive symptoms. Is it worth it? Bridezillas are not attractive.

3) Alienate their own family and friends. You might think they will forgive you and just have to put up with you, but that is not always true. Bridezillas are not cute. They tend to resemble the Seawitch in the “The Little Mermaid” animated movie.

4) Worst of all – Bridezillas turn off grooms. I have seen prolonged, intense bridezilla behavior lead to the groom calling the whole thing off.

So, brides, it’s worth the effort to be nice.

THE END

Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT has a degree in communications from the University of Hawaii and a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Phoenix. She is a licensed, ordained minister and counselor. She owns, operates and is the head wedding planner for Merry Maui Weddings – on the web at: http://www.merrymauiweddings.com.  She is a published writer, a happily married wife, mother of three children, grandmother of five grandchildren and resides in Maui, Hawaii.

If you desire to have your wedding related question answered by Rev. Lee, please click here or mail it to: Merry Maui Weddings, P.O. Box 880080, Pukalani, HI 96788.

©2009 Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT

Making the Most of Your Wedding: The Wedding Vows

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

There is no doubt that planning a wedding can be one of the most daunting tasks a person can undergo. Since the majority of the work traditionally falls upon the bride and her family (let’s face it, the guys, largely, just don’t care if the flowers are yellow and pink, canary and magenta, or goldenrod and cherry) it is always a good idea to have the assistance of a professional wedding planner or at least a trusted friend or relative to help keep all of the details in order.

Making wedding vows

Making wedding vows

That assistant can take care of everything from ordering the cake to making sure the reception seating arrangement is in order and Uncle Herbert is as far from the bar as possible while Aunt Helen and Aunt Gertrude won’t come in contact with one another at all. One thing that will be entirely up to the happy couple, however, is the decision on the wedding vows. This is one aspect of the event that the groom will have to participate in as well.

The traditional wedding vows are immortal and familiar to us all. We’ve all heard the phrase “to love, honor, and cherish,” a million times before and, regardless of race, religion, or nationality, we all immediately associate these words with the marriage ceremony. There is nothing wrong with that. The traditional wedding vows are powerful words of love and commitment and, if you like those vows and they hold a special place in your heart, then you should feel free to include them in your wedding ceremony.

Many couples write their own wedding vows. The practice is now so common that original wedding vows have almost replaced the traditional vows as the norm for weddings, but that does not mean that the time-honored vows are any less meaningful.

For those that do wish to write their own wedding vows, the options are limitless. Some couples pen their wedding vows completely from their hearts and minds, using this portion of the wedding ceremony as an opportunity to express their love and devotion to one another in a very personal way. Others borrow literary quotes, song lyrics, poetry, or other non-original material that expresses their feelings for their beloved, to incorporate into their wedding vows. Anything that says how you feel is acceptable.

A young spouse-to-be may sometimes experience writer’s block when composing the wedding vows. This stems from anticipation of the pending event and is perfectly natural. The best way to overcome this anxiety is to slow down, close your eyes and think about your fiancée. Imagine what you would say if he or she were right in front of you, with no one around. Find the best way to tell that person how you feel, how deep your love is, and what you promise to do and be as a husband or a wife. The words will come in no time and the result will be a beautiful wedding ceremony that is highlighted by beautiful and personal wedding vows.