So, engaged ladies, I give you some reasons, here, to not allow yourselves to indulge in bridezilla-ness.

Bridezillas…

1) Hinder the success of their own wedding. Their rude, impulsive, aggressive behaviors alienate and confuse wedding planners, dress designers, caterers, site providers, florists, etc. While professionals will try to do their best, anyway, hysterical harassment provokes attacks of post traumatic stress disorder. Do you want your seamstress to be shaking and crying while she snips and pins your wedding dress? Do you want your catering staff to hide in the bathroom when they see you coming?

2) Are ugly. Unfortunately, anger and fear cause sleepless nights, compulsive eating and other conditions, which result in black circles under eyes, puffy skin, blemishes, weight problems, bloating and other unattractive symptoms. Is it worth it? Bridezillas are not attractive.

3) Alienate their own family and friends. You might think they will forgive you and just have to put up with you, but that is not always true. Bridezillas are not cute. They tend to resemble the Seawitch in the “The Little Mermaid” animated movie.

4) Worst of all – Bridezillas turn off grooms. I have seen prolonged, intense bridezilla behavior lead to the groom calling the whole thing off.

So, brides, it’s worth the effort to be nice.

THE END

Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT has a degree in communications from the University of Hawaii and a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Phoenix. She is a licensed, ordained minister and counselor. She owns, operates and is the head wedding planner for Merry Maui Weddings – on the web at: http://www.merrymauiweddings.com.  She is a published writer, a happily married wife, mother of three children, grandmother of five grandchildren and resides in Maui, Hawaii.

If you desire to have your wedding related question answered by Rev. Lee, please click here or mail it to: Merry Maui Weddings, P.O. Box 880080, Pukalani, HI 96788.

©2009 Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee, MC, MFT

The second step can be divided into three goals: Compatibility, Communication and Commitment.

1) Compatibility – Brainstorm with your fiance to select the most important criteria for choosing your wedding planner. Keep these in mind, while perusing websites, referrals and brochures. For example, do you prefer to work with a professional in a concise, abbreviated style, or is your favored communication style warm, friendly and personal? Do you prefer phone, in person, or email communications? Are you looking for high end, top-of-the-line services, or do you need to stay within a small budget? Of course, you will want to look for wedding planner teams that are reputable with good credentials, i.e. Better Business Bureau, or local planners professional organizations.

2) Communication – once you haved narrowed down your list of planners, communicate clearly and politely what is important to you. The planner should be comfortable with your priorities and be able to communicate clearly their mission statement and policies. Listen to what they say. Read their terms/policies and conditions. Don’t try to bully or wheedle them to change their policies. If you don’t feel comfortable, continue your search, but make sure your requirements are reasonable and realistic.

If you have spoken to three or four reputable companies, and don’t like any of them, you may want to re-evaluate your criteria. Is it reasonable? Don’t take too long completing this search. It will tire you out and waste your time and the planners’.

3) Commitment – Once you have found a good match, seal the deal. Reserve your date and the planner’s services. Cooperate with their contractual requirements. They protect you, too. No planner can do a good job until you give commitment and cooperation. And keep up with the clear, non emotional, respectful communication. Any good planner wants you to have a wonderful wedding experience just as much as you.

Order services well in advance – Be prepared to pay for them. Service providers need to be respected and treated with politeness and consideration. Don’t try to manipulate them to lower their prices. Their profit margins are usually only enough to keep them in business. If you can’t afford something or aren’t 100% certain you want it, don’t order it. Your wedding planners and service providers are not charitable non-profit organizations who can afford to provide you with what you want. They are struggling to keep afloat in a difficult economy, just like you are. So, if you can’t afford it, just do without it. Love and joy are what makes a beautiful wedding.

And you may have noticed, the three steps I have described, Compatibility, Communication and Commitment are also essential for enjoying a happy marriage. And, make sure to season it all with kindness and consideration.

THE END

Last week, I saw a clear example of a dress wearing a bride. Tina and Tony (not their real names) planned a Maui beach wedding with a few family members and friends. Overall, it was a beautiful wedding, but there were a few problems:

1) Tina was late to her wedding.

2) She had difficulty posing for the spontaneous, playful beach pictures.

3) She was hot and uncomfortable.

4) She was very late to her reception.

The above problems were all caused by “The Dress,” which was a modified version of what Princess Diana wore to her ill-fated wedding. Diana’s dress worked because her wedding was in a huge church and she had a limo and a zillion attendants.

Tina’s “Dress” did not work, because she had a beach wedding, no limo, and only one overworked attendant. Tina was late because The Dress was hard to get on and then, worse, did not fit in the compact car planned to take her to her wedding. She had to be crammed in with the seat all the way back and the dress stuffed up to the ceiling of the car. The groom informed us that the process of stuffing the bride and her dress into the car took one half hour and three persons. Thus, Tina was late, forcing her guests and wedding staff to wait, uncomfortably, in the bright Maui sun.

The Dress was disastrous in the sand. Her bridesmaid and groom tried to manage the “runaway train,” but it was difficult to do. Sea creatures, shells, seaweed and a small surfboard all ended up netted in that train (small exaggeration – there was only a small piece of surfboard).

Then, there was the exhausting, undignified struggle to get her and The Dress back in the car, to the restaurant, and then back out. Thus, she missed much of her reception. She enjoyed her wedding and reception, but it probably would have been better without the “Tyranny of The Dress.”

Subsequent articles will ad”dress” other dresses, equally inappropriate for their bride and/or event.

THE END

Rev.  Ayesha Sandra Lee is writer, hula dancer, Maui wedding destination consultant, wedding planner, wedding minister, and owner of Merry Maui Weddings (http://www.merrymauiweddings.com). Find more useful info about Hawaii weddings and feature-packed, complete beach photo weddings starting at only $495 + tax, with no hidden, future or extra charges. Call (888)588-0400 toll-free for a free, personal phone consultation.

Picture this: a bride and groom are standing on an overlook, surrounded by the blue sea with white, frothy waves, warm golden light shines upon them as they exchange their vows. By the time they have signed their wedding license, the sky radiates beams of orange, gold, pink and turquoise. They toast one another, as the setting sun bathes them with a fiery glow. They kiss and then… fireworks light up the sky.

Three hundred and sixty four days of the year and all of this might happen at a sunset beach wedding, but on the Fourth of July, the fireworks are not just in their minds, but also exploding in the sky, lighting up the lavender evening, reflecting off the ocean, and shining in lover’s eyes.

You may well want to consider having a wedding on Maui on July 4th, 2010!

THE END

Rev. Ayesha Sandra Lee is a minister, wedding planner, hula dancer, mother, singer, published book writer, online author, wife and owner of Merry Maui Weddings at www.merrymauiweddings.com. More of her writing can be read online on her website and her articles can be read throughout the internet.

During the course of planning a wedding, one aspect of the event that doesn’t seem to get enough thought is the selection of a wedding ring for the groom. The hopeful husband may spend weeks or even months trying to find the perfect engagement ring for his fiancée and then take her to shop around in as many jewelry stores as may be needed to find the perfect wedding ring. Granted, men’s wedding rings are often purchased along with women’s, the couple desiring rings that match, but that is often the only consideration. The fact is that the selection of men’s wedding rings is every bit as important as that of women’s rings and there are some important factors to consider when making such a purchase.

Does His Wedding Ring Match Hers?

This may not really be that important in the great scheme of things, but most couples want their rings to match. If that is the case, it’s usually an easy requirement to meet when selecting men’s wedding rings. Jewelers are accustomed to selling women’s and men’s wedding rings as a set and will usually have men’s wedding rings in stock that complement their selection of women’s wedding rings. This makes it easy to choose a matching design for both rings, as well as choosing a similar weight and the same color of ring. Jewelers tend to recommend 18k gold, platinum, or titanium for wedding rings. Whichever precious metal is chosen, both rings should be the same material and the same karat weight.

Durability

Obviously, all wedding rings should be designed to last. That said, durability is still an important factor in men’s wedding rings, especially if the man in question performs some form of physical labor or works with his hands in some way. Traditionally, men are simply tougher on their wedding rings then women are. A woman will typically take her ring off before doing any kind of work with her hands and replace it afterward. Men often forget this step. The chosen ring should be heavy and durable enough to stand up to the beating that the man is likely to give it.

Comfort

A man’s wedding ring is most likely going to stay on his finger from the day he gets married until the day he dies. In the days before men’s wedding rings were commonplace, there were few choices in them and several of the rings designed for men were quite uncomfortable. They could dig into the skin, cause the finger to perspire and the skin to itch, and could even be partially responsible for chaffing and cracking of skin as well as fungal infections. Men’s wedding rings have come a long way where this is concerned and most jewelers offer “comfort-fit” wedding bands that are designed specifically for such long-term wear. Keep this in mind when choosing men’s wedding rings.

Deciding on a wedding ring for the groom still doesn’t require a lot of thought, but when the couple is shopping for men’s wedding rings, adhering to these simple principles will help them make the right choice and select the right ring. Wearing a comfortable and durable wedding ring will help make for a happy husband.

The beaches of Florida are also an exciting and romantic location for young couples to hold their wedding ceremonies. Florida beach weddings are particularly popular in the area of St. Petersburg and Clearwater. Together these cities host about 8,500 weddings annually.

Part of the reason for the popularity of this area for weddings is the number of options available for couples that are seeking romantic places for their weddings. In addition to weddings held along their glorious Florida beaches, weddings are held in botanical gardens, at the base of a lighthouse overlooking Tampa Bay, and numerous other exotic locations. Since so many choices are available, it’s no surprise that this part of Florida have become so popular for beach weddings.

Florida beach weddings are an ideal choice for those planning a romantic destination wedding. Most of the weddings offered at the Florida beaches and other locations are designed with romance and privacy in mind. Most are geared toward small ceremonies. “Perfect for 2 to 52,” boasts one company’s advertisements. Package prices range from the truly affordable to the incredibly extravagant, but there’s definitely something for every conceivable budget.

Attending a wedding on the Florida beach is truly an experience. The combination of sun, sand, and beautiful ocean waves fill the air with a spark of romance. As you watch your friends recite their vows amongst the natural splendor of the Florida beach, you can’t help but feel the passion between them and be moved.

The couple holding a Florida beach wedding is truly providing a treat for themselves and their guests alike. The memories created here will last a lifetime for everyone involved.

When planning a destination wedding, Florida is a choice you may not have considered. Do yourself a favor and look into it. The many chapels and wedding service companies offer attractive packages for their Florida beach weddings, including everything from photographers to marriage licensing appointments, with no detail left unaccounted for.

Contacting your travel agent can help you determine whether a Florida beach wedding is within your budget, but in most cases a wedding like this will cost far less than a traditional wedding at home. The romantic difference and the savings certainly make the Florida beach wedding a viable romantic alternative. You’ll remember your beautiful wedding for a lifetime, no matter where the ceremony actually takes place.

By marrying in a romantic location like the breathtaking beaches of Florida you will make your entire wedding experience just that much more special and memorable, treating yourself, your spouse, and your guests to the wedding of a lifetime.

You have chosen your dream dress, you and your future husband have decided on the wedding party and the bridesmaids are anxious to see what their dresses are going to look like. When choosing your bridesmaid dresses, don’t forget to keep their emotions and tastes in mind!

Remember that although this is your big day, your bridesmaids have decided to share in your joy and help you make lasting memories. And one of the biggest ways that you can include them in the merriment is to ask them to help you with the decision. In other words, in addition to your own ideas, find out what their likes and dislikes are. After all, if they’re not happy with your choice and they feel uncomfortable, it will show in your wedding photos.

Compliment your bridesmaids’ figures, hair color and complexions when choosing their dresses. You can still be the center of attention while allowing your wedding party to glow and shine behind you. Be sure to have your bridesmaids try on several styles and colors and let them choose one or two of their favorites to help you make your decision.

As important as comfort is for you, it is just as important for your girls. So, when choosing the bridesmaids dresses, look for comfort in the fit and the style. If you are a courteous bride, thinking of their needs while tending to your own, it will be appreciated by your wedding party and they will be more willing to help you.

If you’ve ever been bridesmaid yourself, then you likely understand how important it is to consider cost when choosing the bridesmaid dresses. While you may be working on a wedding budget, keep in mind that your wedding party also may be hoping for affordable attire. Talk to your bridesmaids and ask them how much they are willing to spend.

Be sure while choosing bridesmaids dresses you record everything in a notebook so that you won’t forget or lose the valuable information. Through the chaos of planning the rest of the wedding, it could be all too easy to forget sizes, styles, alteration decisions, and how much is owed on the dresses. Keeping everything in a notebook will help you stay organized and feel less stress.

After the bridesmaids dresses have been decided on, don’t forget to ask about fittings. Find out how many fitting will be needed for each girl and exactly what the cost is for each one of them. Write down times and dates to help your wedding party remember and if possible, let the bridesmaids schedule the appointments themselves to ensure it is a good time for them.

Now you have chosen the bridesmaids dresses, they are happy about the color, style and fit. Don’t forget the shoes! Remember to tell your bridesmaids whether they are to wear flats or pumps. And if you want them dyed to match the dresses, let them know and give them time to prepare. As long as you use respect and common courtesy, you will most likely have a happy wedding party thus giving you a beautiful, happy day to remember.

As an alternative to the traditional channel set wedding and engagement rings, rings created with a process called tension setting have started to become popular in recent years. Tension set wedding rings and engagement rings have a stone (typically a diamond, although tension setting can be used with any precious gem) that is set in an opening in the ring itself and held by tension of the open ends of the ring pressing against the stone. Jewelers agree that there are both positive and negative aspects to choosing tension set rings.

The Benefits

Tension set rings are beautiful. Because the design is so unique, your tension set wedding or engagement ring will definitely draw people’s attention. The rings are available in all the typical styles one would expect, including rings of gold, platinum, titanium, and white gold, but the tension setting gives them a stylized and modernistic look that channel set rings are simply not capable of. People will examine the ring up close and, if they’ve never seen a tension setting before, will wonder how in the world that stone stays in place. You’ll find that your tension set wedding ring will be a topic of conversation at many a social gathering.

Makers of tension set wedding rings insist that the stone is immoveable and will never be lost. Whether this is actually true is the topic of some debate, but it is a claim that can not be made for channel set rings as we know that channel set stones can sometimes work their way loose and be lost.

The Drawbacks

It is difficult for a jeweler to effectively resize a tension set ring of any kind. The process of resizing a ring actually alters the shape and thickness of the metal and this will cause a change in the amount of tension holding the stone in place. This is particularly troubling for someone with a tension set wedding ring, since the ring is meant to be worn forever. As a person ages, their body changes so, even someone who doesn’t gain or lose weight over the years (and that’s a scant few of us) will still likely have a different ring size when he or she reaches the age of fifty than he or she did at age twenty five.

While proponents of tension settings do make the aforementioned claim that the stone is immoveable, opponents of the process say quite the opposite. Several jewelers claim that they have been approached by people looking for advice on how to replace a lost stone from a tension set wedding ring. The jury is still out, therefore, on whether tension settings really are more effective than the more traditional channel settings.

The final drawback is for the jewelers themselves. Jeweler Keith Farley states on the InForm web site that it is very easy for a person to intentionally remove the stone from a tension set ring. This, obviously, makes it that much easier for a dishonest customer to remove the stone and then come back to the jeweler seeking a replacement under the terms of a warranty, claiming that the setting was lost.

When planning a wedding, most brides focus first on the church, lining it with flowers and ribbons. By the time costs for the wedding are taken care of many couple’s find that they are skimming close to their budget. It’s good know that the centerpiece decorations at your reception can not only be inexpensive, but tasteful and original.

Try this idea and score a perfect ten for creativity when planning your centerpiece decorations. Start by buying cute small frames as you see them on sale. Insert photos of you and your groom growing up through the years. Guests will not only love the originality of the idea but they will also get to see what you both looked like when you were younger. Of course, if they have known you your entire life, then this will give them a chance to reminisce about you.

If you are planning on a fall wedding use baskets and terra cotta pots to add a fall touch to your centerpiece decorations. Fill the baskets and pots with tiny pumpkins, apples, corn stalk and gourds. This will add that little extra touch to the season while filling your table with inexpensive decorations.

For a more romantic look, use inexpensive single fish bowls. Fill these centerpiece decorations with water, which can be colored with liquid dye, and add a floating candle. You may also find inexpensive artificial flowers that can be snipped at the tops and laid around the candles. This will create the mood of romance and add candlelight to each of your tables.

For a Christmas time wedding, use poinsettias and gold ribbons for centerpiece decorations. If you have extra money to spend, buy miniature Christmas trees and decorate them with lights and wedding charms for ornaments, which can be found at most bridal decoration stores. Place the trees in the middle of the table and let the guests try and guess what meaning each of the charms hold!

Let your guests get involved in your first day as man and wife by using paper and pens as a centerpiece decoration. Buy decorated paper and pens, placing them at each sitting. Leave instructions for the guests to give you the best marital advice they can. You may also have the guest make up a love poem to give you. This will get them involved and also give you a keepsake to read on your honeymoon. You may also add a long-stemmed rose at each place setting that they can take home with them.

A popular trend added to centerpiece decorations are disposable cameras with ribbons and bows tied around them. You can also type a note to hang from the camera letting guests know to take pictures throughout the night and then place the cameras inside a designated box as they leave. Just imagine the different photos you will have once the film is all developed.

No matter what you choose as centerpiece decorations, you can create a mood and atmosphere that represents your style, at an inexpensive price. So, hang balloons from the ceiling, let the cameras start clicking and begin your life together with friends, family and a lot of good times.